Just the thoughts of a brokenhearted Girl

What do you do when the one person you thought would be always be there for you disappears out of your life? When suddenly everything that seemed stable in your life crumbles to the ground. And there you are. Just you. It's then that you realize who you really are and what you are made out of. When you realize that the one that you love is with another person. And not only do you know it. You see it. Without notice you had been replaced, shut out, and unloved. The dreams that you had were crushed with one glance. Knowing that you would never feel that person's touch or kiss ever again. Didn't they know how much you loved them? Didn't they know that this was one moment in time that they would regret for the rest of their life? You know that person better than anyone else knew them. With one touch you could tell what they were feeling and knew how to make it better. Being with them had been an easy as breathing, and loving them came to your heart as if it had always meant to love them. The pain stings like one hundred paper cuts all at once on your heart. The rejection almost stops you from breathing, and the heavy sobs cause you to drop to your knee's in the snow without feeling the cold. Just to feel their arms close around you would cure the pain, but they aren't there, and they aren't coming back. Somehow you make it through the night and when you wake up, the cold realization that wasn't a dream punches you in the chest.

But yet, through it all there is something that keeps you moving. I'm not sure what it is yet. Maybe it is the hope that they will somehow fix it, or maybe it is the feeling that there is still someone out there who will love and heal your heart, or maybe it is pure survival instinct. Whatever it is, it carries you through and makes it endurable. It still hurts more than i can describe, but it will work out.

Just about to leave for Christmas break

Well here I am. My first semester of college over and done. And although it was good all I can do right now is keep myself from crying. My best friend, Chelsea is going to stay in Bend for Winter semester. We have grown so close, and we really know each other so well. We can always tell what the other is thinking and going through. No matter how hard I am crying, she can always make me laugh. I don't know what I am going to do without her. As I sit here and watch her pack, everything gets harder and harder. And of course, right now is the time that I have to go through guy trouble. I'm so frustrated. I just feel like my heart is being torn apart and going all over the country. I wish that things didn't always have to change. I guess though that my one hope is that relationships are forever and i will always have my friends in my heart.

College Life

Hello again! I am finally adjusted to college life here in Rexburg and am now loving it. So much better than highschool!!

Shari getting ready to vaccum

Chelsea and our new best friend Collin!

Cassie relaxing on the couch!

Yes, I am defiantly enjoying college life.

My Roomates!!

I am starting to get to know my roomates here in Rexburg, they are really nice!

This is Tera. She is a senior is business school and is getting married in December.

This is Amy. She is also a senior, and is majoring in photography.

My Chelsea hiding from the camera!

This is Cassandra (cassie) who is a freshman and majoring in some big scientific word I can't remember. She is also engaged, and getting married in the spring.

And last, but not least, Shari, who is a sophomore, and majoring in Elementary Education, she is a blast!! I love my roomates!!

New apartment!

On saturday night me, mom and dad arrived in Rexburg idaho after a very long drive of 12 hours. Mom and Dad soon left that night, and after sobbing a while with my roomate chelsea I felt better. I was happy to discover that my apartment was very clean and and had enough space for 6 girls. Everyday I am getting fonder of my small home.

This is our livingroom, complete with cable.

Our Kitchen

Bathroom with tons of space

Our somewhat smallish toilet and shower, but there are two of them, so it will work out well.

Our closet

Chelsea's side of the room. (Nice big window)

My side of the room.

Memory sorting and Packing

While I have been getting ready to go to college I have gone through all of my memory things and sorted and threw away some.

This was my favorite blanket made by Wendy, a doll I have saved (not baby) my graduation cap and a book of all my achivements.

Getting all my school stuff together.

Packing is a lot of work and it takes a while, which I have not done before, so it had been an experience getting everything together and putting them into a box.

My room almost fully packed. I think that this has been one of the hardest things I have done. I said goodbye to friends and sobbed through the night knowing it would be s along time till i would see them again. I will be a mess when mom and dad drop my off at my apartment. It is hard to imagine a life outside of my home and without family and friends. I will miss them so much.

Dad's 59th Birthday

Yesterday was Dad's 59th birthday. It was quite an event. Jenniann and her kids came over to celebrate with a large dinner and then of course, cake and presents.

Dad with his cake

Jenni, Macquarie, and Tyra

Smile Lia!

Presents from Jenniann

Laughing once he got my present

Earplugs! Haha. My presents were based on the fact that I am going to college, so he got earplugs since I wouldn't be there to answer the phone, a scrubber since I won't be there to scrub his toilet, and other such novelties.

And then of course, we enjoyed the cake. Happy Birthday to you Dad!!

Catch up! Bobby Mcferrin!

Mom was able to get tickets to see Bobby Mcferrin live in concert in Eugene this July, so we made it a girl's day and went to Eugene, ate, shopped, found a terrific used/new book store, and saw Bobby.

Me and mom right before the concert started in our seats on the first balcony. (Not the nosebleed seats! Woohoo!!)

The view from where we sat. Bobby actually worked with a choir that had been singing for the Bach Festival. He did some solo work, which blew us all away, but some of the most interesting music was with him and the choir.

The concert hall had the most intricate designs on the walls that grabbed my attention. The entire experience was wonderful and now we can say that we have seen Bobby McFerrin live. Thank you mom!

Catch up! Manti Pageant trip!

This summer I went with the ward to the Manti Pageant in utah. We made it a week long trip though and saw all the sights in utah. It was a great experience. It had been a long time since I had been downtown Salt Lake City.

One of the best gifts we got while we were there was to see an old best friend and member of the ward, Beverly Miller! She is going to Lds Business school there and wants to be a professor of art history. She met us at the visitor center and went around with us for the rest of that day. The picture is of her and Bishop Wilcox.

Me and one of my awesome Church friends, Mikhalia Thornton. We stuck together most of the time, as we were the two oldest there. Trouble followed wherever we went.

The Manti Temple is probably the most Beautiful Temple I have seen. Right now I am thinking about getting married there. The actual pageant was very awe inspiring. However, the protestors that stopped me and a friend for a half hour was not as nice, but I learned a lot from the experience. It's hard to make one doubt the church is true when all you have to do is turn around and look at the temple.

At the visitor center they have made an exact replica of the Salt Lake Temple, showing all the rooms inside and what is there. There was quite a few non-members there that really liked it.

Our crazy group of girl's that stayed in the same house together! We had a great time together and got to experience things that we would have never otherwise gotten to see.

Hello!

In two and a half weeks I will be off to BYU Idaho and I have had a few people ask me to keep them updated while I am gone, so this will be my way of staying connected to everyone. I decided to name my blog The harmony of my song because I view my life a long string of notes and music that vibrate and create the harmonies that cause my life to be a joyful thing. So, now I am taking off in my new blogging adventure!